71 Hours Without Power

...because at 72 hours PG&E has to start paying out compensation

I wrote this last year when our power went out for three days. I apologize for not writing something fresh, but I have been struggling with thinking I always have to write on the best subject and material. I have been writing about Harriet but I am finding it impossible to shove an entire book worth of material into a quick 5 minute Substack read. For now, you are all stuck with this never published short story. BTW, I do take requests.

My wife and I live in the heart of a fully funded and thriving city in the San Francisco Bay Area. This particular 2024 California storm brought heavy rain and wind that blew trees down all over the place. Around 2:30 in the afternoon, I had just stepped out of the shower and as I stood dripping wet, my bathroom got a whole lot darker. A few miles away, a large tree had taken out a major power line and knocked the power out for a few thousand Pleasant Hill residents. Not knowing this was a major problem, I waited an hour before pulling Shirley, my 4000-watt generator outside. I fed her some fuel and oil and fired her up. I plugged in my chest freezer full of Bluefin Tuna and the garage refrigerator (does anyone else feel like they made it in life when they got that garage fridge?). I headed out in search of a gas station with power to fill our gas cans. I’ve watched the entire series of The Walking Dead and I must admit I felt a little bit like keeping an eye out for zombies and bad guys wanting to steal my supplies. I was not alone, as several cars also pulled up to the pumps and began to fill their own plastic 2-5 gallon gas cans.

This is Shirley. She’s so hot.

I actually love it when the power goes out. Like for a night. I relish the quiet and the natural darkness. Plus, I feel comfortable in the dark. Having been a firefighter, we are used to navigating in the dark. Inside a building on fire, you typically cannot see your hand in front of your face. We have to make our way through and back out of an unknown building in complete darkness. Having no electricity also breaks up the monotony of everyday life. It’s like camping at home. I do love to camp. But there is a difference between camping in the woods and camping at home. Ironically, I found that I am much better prepared when I go camping in the woods than when unexpectedly camping at home. The last time our power went out was during the summer when it doesn’t get dark until late and is light before we get up in the morning. So this time with it being dark and cold, I did learn a few things.

I’ve never been a candle person. But I do have a handful of candles at home that have been gifted to me. So the first night I thought it’d be nice to break out the candles and use them for light. I had two pine tree-scented candles, two ‘powder fresh’ candles that closely resembled my deodorant and one brownie-scented candle. Since I am a retired firefighter and have learned to never leave a candle unattended, I put all the candles in the living room where at least one of us would be at all times. You can probably guess what happened. After about thirty minutes, a visible haze of rather conflicting odors began to form. While I love the smell of pine trees and the mountains, when they’re covered in chocolate brownie scent and powder fresh deodorant, it just causes my nose and brain a significant amount of confusion and angst. I saw Lisa look at the haze and then look back at me and back at the haze until I got the message to blow those things out.

Three of the five candles I have been gifted and used when the power went out. Two powder fresh and a brownie.

Flashlights are always handy when the power goes out but when laid flat, show every speck of dirt and dust and piece of pet hair. Suddenly, in the dark, my pretty clean house was filthy. I dare you to try this even if you don’t live with a Golden Retriever or other pets. Turn off the lights and lay a flashlight flat on your mantel or bookshelves or the kitchen counters that you just cleaned or even your dining room table — I guarantee you will experience a little bit of horror. If you do live with a Golden Retriever or other pets, make sure you are sitting down and have some cleaning supplies handy before turning on the flashlight.

Muscle memory is 100% real. Some place, deep in my brain, perhaps even in my brain stem, which is the reptilian part of my brain that controls involuntary mechanisms like breathing, thinks that for sure, even though the power has been out for over 50 hours if I flip the light switch when I walk into the bathroom or any other room in my house, the lights will come on. For three fucking days I continued to hit the light switch when I’d walk into a room. It got to the point where as I reached for the light switch, another part of my brain would say that’s not going to work but my arm would reach and try it anyway. I’d even be wearing my headlamp, walk into the bathroom or the bedroom or my office or the hallway or the God damn garage, and hit the switch. Again and again and again and yes, again. Then there was also the clock on the microwave that never realized how often I looked at to see what time it is.

Headlamps are incredibly handy. But I am sure Harriet was in a constant state of wondering why in the hell I had been replaced by something uncomfortable to look at.

On day two, I learned how many things in my house have battery backups. And those things beep and talk when their batteries are running low. We’d be sitting enjoying the quiet and then randomly, from somewhere in the house, we would hear a smooth voice say, “Your battery is running low.” What or who in the hell is talking to us?? Oh, it’s just the landline. Ok whew. After the 10th time, I actually yelled back, “Lady, the God damn power is out, I cannot charge the God damn phone! So quit telling me to!” We had appliances that beeped alerting us of their impending doom. We had to just listen to the beeps and unnerving voices telling us they were all slowly dying.

There was no internet or Netflix because those cable and phone lines run right under the power lines, so when a power line is taken out, so are the cable and internet lines. And of course, those have a low priority to be put back in service. We did have cellular service so we were still connected and our shopping ability was not interrupted. Using her phone, Lisa ordered some lanterns after the candles almost gassed us out of the house. They arrived the very next morning. Even though we couldn’t do laundry or turn on the heater, we could still shop to our heart’s content.

We do have an on-demand water heater which does need electricity. I can do without hot water for the most part, except when I repeatedly turn on the hot water faucet expecting hot water to come out— very similar to the God damn light switches. Since we have Shirley, we can plug in the water heater when we want to take showers and do the dishes.

I have saved the most important two lessons for last.

If you are a coffee addict like myself, always be prepared to have multiple ways of making coffee. Even if you have a gas stove, be prepared to make coffee with that. Practice BEFORE the power goes out. While your routine is screwed up is not the time to be figuring out how to make coffee. That’s just a recipe for disaster.

And then there is the toilet situation. I am so thankful toilets don’t need power. I see my friends installing fancy bidets with control pads and all that. Where I once felt a small (very, very small) pang of jealousy, I am now and forever grateful for my old-fashioned crapper.

With all the crazy weather we are having these days, get yourself a Shirley. If you are not comfortable with machines and power tools, don’t worry, Shirley comes with instructions and is easy.