I Went to a Party With Some Fancy People

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. - Maya Angelo

Photo by Vincentas Liskauskas on Unsplash

This whole getting a book published thing has somehow placed some fancy people in my path. I don’t know how it happened as I am not a seeker of fancy people, but it did. One of these fancy people, who I adore, invited me to her book launch party in super fancy Los Angeles. Amy Ferris wrote the book, Mighty Gorgeous (which by the way, is a mighty gorgeous book and I highly recommend it.) Amy also wrote a couple of other great books and a couple of movies (one of them was Mr. Wonderful starring Matt Dillion) and has like a million followers. The book launch was to take place at the home of Marta Kauffman who is the co-creator of a little TV show you might have heard of. It’s called Friends. Have you heard of it? Marta also co-created Grace and Frankie starring Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda —maybe you’ve heard of them? I’m not one to name-drop (unless it’s to demonstrate a point) so let’s just say there were all sorts of fancy people who also rub elbows with other fancy people. I wouldn’t miss this opportunity to celebrate and support Amy for anything, so I’d be going even if the event was being held in a bowling alley in Wahpeton, North Dakota with not a single fancy person to be found. But since there going to be some fancy people in Los Angeles, I must admit, I was a little excited for me too.

Lisa and I flew down to LA in the late morning of the big day and trying to be prudent we checked into a not-very-expensive hotel. I’m not fancy by any means and don’t need much from a hotel, but when we walked into the room, we quickly envisioned cockroaches the size of dollar bills scurrying about as soon as we turned off the lights to go to sleep. So we decided to eat the cost of that hotel reservation and try and find a reasonably priced hotel that still had a room available on a Saturday night in Hollywood. The Holiday Inn saved our asses and most likely our skin from whatever bedbugs or rash we were going to get from the first hotel.

We cleaned up and dressed into respectable clothes (yes I wore shorts.) We took the most fantastic Lyft ride with a driver who was most certainly a retired bank-robber-get-away-car driver. He was very fast and followed none of the rules. As he dropped us off, he commented on what a nice neighborhood we were in. I don’t think he had any idea whose house he just dropped us off in front of.

We walked through the side gate and passed all the stuff that everyone has hidden behind their side gate. We entered the backyard and saw beautiful people holding drinks and glasses of wine, mingling around the pool. We grabbed drinks and our evening in the gathering of fancy and lovely people began. Lil’ ol me got to tell Marta all about my book. I had a good knee-slapping laugh with an actor who had a recurring guest role on Friends. I caught up with a music video producer who has Sting on speed dial. And the Charcuterie board was literally as big as a major law firm conference table. Amy even called me up to say something about her and her book. Holy crap I actually spoke in front of all these people! Everything about the book launch party was absolutely lovely. What a night!

All these moments were amazing, but there was another one that was my favorite moment of the entire evening. It wasn’t sharing a stunning charcuterie board with amazing people, but rather a 30-second interaction with this not-fancy 83-year-old guy named Ken. After about three hours of all this elbow rubbing, my introverted wife, Lisa, came over and discreetly told me that it was time. Her fuel tank for social interaction had run dry and we needed to return to our clean hotel room. I said, “OK, I just need to go say a quick hello and goodbye to Ken cuz I never said hi yet.” Ken is Amy Ferris’s dear husband. Technically he is kind of a fancy person. He’s a retired camera operator and has a crazy long IMDb page of credits to his name. But he is a quiet, 100% behind-the-scenes kind of guy. He’s a make everyone else look good and shine kinda of guy. I found him and his wise-looking face at the rear of the party, standing in a small circle of people. I was hesitant to interrupt but I knew Lisa was getting anxious. So I stepped in and promised everyone I’d make this a quick interruption. “Hey Ken, I just never made it over and I gotta leave. I just wanted to say hi and bye.” He looked directly into my eyes and paused. He put his very gentle and tender hand on the side of my face and smiled. Huge. It made me stop and focus. He said, “How are you?” I replied thoughtfully, “I’m good. How are you?” He kept smiling and said he too was good.

I said, “I’m sorry I never got a chance to talk to you.”

“That’s ok, you’re here now. And I will see you again.”

I hugged him and he kissed me on the cheek, just like a sweet, loving father would. I walked away full of pause and love and joy. I am able to grasp that my writing ability did not demonstrate how seen and cared for Ken made me feel.

Maya Angelou was so right.

So if you ever think of yourself as unimportant because you aren’t a fancy movie star or a partner in a fancy law firm or a professional athlete, please, I beg you, think again. It’s the small stuff that makes us important and valuable. I spent a fabulous evening with fabulous people and the part that affected me the most, the part that made my heart feel full was the thirty seconds of someone’s authentic, undivided loving attention. Thank you Ken!

The ever-handsome and loving Ken