Pain Sucks, but It's Important

The value of being able to feel pain is obvious. So why do we go to great lengths to ignore it? And yes, that is a picture of my butt.

Almost no one likes pain. We all know the ways and mechanisms we use to cover up pain instead of taking care of the problem. Drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, sex, porn, ibuprofen, scrolling on our phones, exercising relentlessly even when we are sick or exhausted, and my current favorite, Tillamook’s Udderly Chocolate ice cream. All of these and so many more can eliminate or dull our pain…but only in the moment. Yes, even exercising even makes the list and I’m not just talking metaphorically. I am one of those people who once literally tried to run away from pain. Does anyone else notice how pain can go away while we are exercising only to return after we’ve cooled down? These ‘solutions’ are like shoving plugs in our ears when someone we love is screaming for help and believing if we can’t hear them, they’ll be alright. By drinking, running when we shouldn’t, or eating large bowls of ice cream at 9:00 at night, we are doing just that - shoving earplugs in our ears hoping our pain will simply disappear.

 Pain is your body’s voice to scream for help. It may just be gently asking but all too often our bodies and minds are screaming for help. And I’m not just talking about physical pain, but we cram in earplugs for mental and emotional pain. We ignore our mental and emotional pain substantially more than our physical pain. Just look at how the number of medical doctors vastly surpasses the number of therapists in practice. Being in physical pain is socially acceptable whereas mental and emotional pain is not. I sometimes laugh because as I age, I notice that there I am, with my friends and our conversations already consist of our old people's aches and pains. Of those in my circle who are in the later parts of their lives, I know most of their medical problems, but I rarely hear a single word spoken about being lonely, feeling inadequate, or the amount of grief one must have endured by simply being alive for 70+ years.

I recently had my third shoulder surgery, and each time, they did a nerve block. Each twenty-four-hour-plus period after surgery, I didn’t brood over my shoulder. Instead, I had a highly concentrated, laser beam focus on my arm because I couldn’t feel anything, and it scared the absolute shit out of me. My limp arm just lay there in a sling, and I dreaded knowing I would not be alerted if anything was wrong. I stared at it for thirty-six hours until I could feel something and felt gratitude for the ensuing miserable shoulder pain.

I get why we want to cover up our pain instead of dealing with the problem. When PTSD ravaged my brain and the pain became unbearable, I drank alcohol, yelled at people, drove fast, and ran no matter what time it was. The pain would go away only to come back a short while later. When I got to the point where I couldn’t take the pain anymore and ruminated on a permanent solution, I finally thought, what if I actually dealt with the problem instead of just trying to cover up the pain—because so far, how’s that working out for you Christy?

I asked for help as I didn’t have a clue how to treat PTSD—just like when I tore up my shoulder, I went to the shoulder doctor for help. Guess what happened when I asked PTSD experts for treatment? My brain healed and holy shit the pain went away!! So why, at the first sign of pain, do we grab a beer or some ibuprofen or a giant slice or two of pie instead of asking ourselves, “Hmm, I wonder what is damaged and needs attention?” Pain is an alarm system that tells us something is wrong and keeps us from damaging ourselves further.

Having the mettle to handle a lot of pain is looked upon as an almost virtuous quality to have. But the longer you “handle” it, the more damage it causes. My shoulder has hurt and has continued to gradually get worse since the first two surgeries fifteen years ago. Just recently I realized, hmm maybe I should see if there is a problem I can have fixed. What if I went and saw a doctor?!  Well, I did see a doctor and all those years of handling the pain gave me a shredded shoulder that now needs replacing. I let it shred for fifteen fucking years. Now, no amount of ibuprofen or Udderly Chocolate ice cream will cover the pain enough to use my shoulder the way I want. If only I had listened to the incredible human body alarm system devised to prevent the destruction of my shoulder.

The same thing happened in my career. For twenty-five years I sucked up the pain from extreme sleep deprivation and from the battering of my brain with the daily trauma that goes with being a firefighter/paramedic. I almost completed the ultimate pain cover-up by ending my entire life. The alarms were everywhere, but I covered them up with all the stuff. Finally, the bombardment became so loud I could not function anymore. I thank the universe that I finally listened. It totally sucked while I felt it, but now I wouldn’t trade it for anything as dealing with the actual problem has been like dropping a heavy backpack full of smelly pointy rocks that were poking me in the back-- Relief.

Listen to your pain and deal with it. Don’t silence the alarm.