Christy. I’m sitting here with tears rolling down my face, it speaks to tremendous healing that you could unpack this so quickly. I’m so thankful for you, and so thankful that you are writing about this. You light a path for us all♥️
Ram Dass once wrote, “we are all just walking each other home”.
To me, that’s a high point of humanity. The compassion and empathy required to “walk another home” is surely one of the things that make life worth living. My fire dept working years were 15–and a very long time ago.
I’m old.
PTSD , well in fact about 30 percent of the DSM, wasn’t even a thing yet.
So…….. the walking wounded at the end of a long career were merely jettisoned out into the ether with a flat badge and some retirement party trinkets. And of course a shit load of unresolved questions. Living with the questions and perhaps not living into the answers was the order of the day. There was absolutely nothing good about that.
Attributed to I think Carl Jung is this — “we live in enslavement to what we don’t know about ourselves”. I find it to be true which at least for me makes it tedious spending much time with folks that won’t self reflect or do personal work. Repeat: Tedious. It’s heartening to know that firefighters today have evolved somewhat at least to a place where they can take care of each other.
Glad it was a somewhat limited explosion and you’re here!
Oh, and I should add that I am glad that you and everyone is okay! Who knew that what started out for a love of Goldens could turn into something so precious.
Your words are healing. I'm so glad you decided to share the weight. Please know, you never could have ruined the weekend. That said, sharing the process you experienced in this essay will help so many people. I know that by reading this right now, I'm feeling inspired to share some of my weight too. Thank you. <3
Christy, My heart is deeply touched by your authenticity. Thank you for your selfless service to others and for sharing so honestly. You are so strong--I wish you continued healing and peace.
Thank you for sharing your story. Gas and flames are scary. I almost burned my house down a couple years ago: gas oven, oil from some chicken parm leaked off the cookie sheet and caught the oven on fire. I knew enough to shut it off and leave the door closed, but when the smoke started pouring from the closed oven into the kitchen I got scared and called 911. I feared the flames would travel upward into the cabinet above the oven. I tried telling the dispatcher, I don’t see flames anymore, they don’t have to roll Code 3, but visible smoke was enough to bring the cavalry of hunky firefighters traipsing through my house, and then more embarrassingly the local cops who heard the call and knew it was my house and came to check it out. It’s hard when we’re used to NOT making mistakes like “other people”. Anyway, I also was recently involved in an auto vs ped right next to me when I was volunteering at the food bank. While I wasn’t hurt, I responded appropriately and did everything I could correctly, as well as my co-volunteer thankfully wasn’t seriously injured, the incident shook me. Any loud car noises after that were making me jumpy. I told my therapist asap, we did some EMDR and I was much MUCH better. It’s important to take care of our shit!
You truly know how to tell a story chica. Thank you for the details about finding the rocks in your pockets and putting on the same clothes. It shows how much we want to suck it up and move on even though everyone around us can see. We pretend we got it together. Thank you for seeking help, sharing your truth cause I have no doubt it will help others. You Rock.
Thank you Christy, the hurt of trauma often reveals a path for healing and rebirth. Your leadership in that role is a blessing to others. Struggle well...
Like everything else you write, this is heartbreaking and honest and funny and so, so important. (Also, for the record, I would also totally not bother looking at directions and break/blow up something because I was in a big hurry. The difference between us is that you actually have legit experience that to some extent allows you to take shortcuts and I have legit experience breaking things.)
In all seriousness, your honesty about your patterns and about the courage it takes to break/confront those patterns is stunning. You may never know how many people that honesty will help but I promise you that the ripples of what you've shared here will go far. Keep writing! xoxo
Christy. I’m sitting here with tears rolling down my face, it speaks to tremendous healing that you could unpack this so quickly. I’m so thankful for you, and so thankful that you are writing about this. You light a path for us all♥️
Thank you Aly. This means so much
Another amazing story! You are SUCH a fantastic writer!! I am so glad you shared the weight with people. I am so glad you are okay! ♥️♥️♥️
Thanks for being my bff.
Ram Dass once wrote, “we are all just walking each other home”.
To me, that’s a high point of humanity. The compassion and empathy required to “walk another home” is surely one of the things that make life worth living. My fire dept working years were 15–and a very long time ago.
I’m old.
PTSD , well in fact about 30 percent of the DSM, wasn’t even a thing yet.
So…….. the walking wounded at the end of a long career were merely jettisoned out into the ether with a flat badge and some retirement party trinkets. And of course a shit load of unresolved questions. Living with the questions and perhaps not living into the answers was the order of the day. There was absolutely nothing good about that.
Attributed to I think Carl Jung is this — “we live in enslavement to what we don’t know about ourselves”. I find it to be true which at least for me makes it tedious spending much time with folks that won’t self reflect or do personal work. Repeat: Tedious. It’s heartening to know that firefighters today have evolved somewhat at least to a place where they can take care of each other.
Glad it was a somewhat limited explosion and you’re here!
Thank you for your words Chris - and thank you for all your years of service.
Oh, and I should add that I am glad that you and everyone is okay! Who knew that what started out for a love of Goldens could turn into something so precious.
SO true Stephanie!
Wow! That was a powerful post! You have a gift. Please keeps sharing your journey. You gave me permission to acknowledge my feelings. Thank you!
Yay! and thank you so very much!
I love you. I love your heart. It beats for all of us.
I love you Amy Ferris.
Your words are healing. I'm so glad you decided to share the weight. Please know, you never could have ruined the weekend. That said, sharing the process you experienced in this essay will help so many people. I know that by reading this right now, I'm feeling inspired to share some of my weight too. Thank you. <3
Thank you Suzanne!!! You have a lot of weight - I am so glad to hear you are inspired to share some of it.
Christy, My heart is deeply touched by your authenticity. Thank you for your selfless service to others and for sharing so honestly. You are so strong--I wish you continued healing and peace.
Thank you so much Juliet!
Oh my god, Christy. This is a master class in facing your fears.
Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart.
This is vintage Christy. Such a good story, and says so much about you and your character and your goodness. ❤️
Wow, thank you so much, Brooke.
Thank you for sharing your story. Gas and flames are scary. I almost burned my house down a couple years ago: gas oven, oil from some chicken parm leaked off the cookie sheet and caught the oven on fire. I knew enough to shut it off and leave the door closed, but when the smoke started pouring from the closed oven into the kitchen I got scared and called 911. I feared the flames would travel upward into the cabinet above the oven. I tried telling the dispatcher, I don’t see flames anymore, they don’t have to roll Code 3, but visible smoke was enough to bring the cavalry of hunky firefighters traipsing through my house, and then more embarrassingly the local cops who heard the call and knew it was my house and came to check it out. It’s hard when we’re used to NOT making mistakes like “other people”. Anyway, I also was recently involved in an auto vs ped right next to me when I was volunteering at the food bank. While I wasn’t hurt, I responded appropriately and did everything I could correctly, as well as my co-volunteer thankfully wasn’t seriously injured, the incident shook me. Any loud car noises after that were making me jumpy. I told my therapist asap, we did some EMDR and I was much MUCH better. It’s important to take care of our shit!
Community is everything! Thanks for sharing. I love you and I set my apartment on fire once.
You just made me smile and laugh!
You truly know how to tell a story chica. Thank you for the details about finding the rocks in your pockets and putting on the same clothes. It shows how much we want to suck it up and move on even though everyone around us can see. We pretend we got it together. Thank you for seeking help, sharing your truth cause I have no doubt it will help others. You Rock.
Thank you so much Patty. This means a lot.
Thank you Christy, the hurt of trauma often reveals a path for healing and rebirth. Your leadership in that role is a blessing to others. Struggle well...
Thank you for your kind words Bob.
Your “upside down frown” description and your addressing this head on is so clearly written. It’s easy to see how you are a leader at the retreat.
Larissa you are always so good to me. Thank you.
Like everything else you write, this is heartbreaking and honest and funny and so, so important. (Also, for the record, I would also totally not bother looking at directions and break/blow up something because I was in a big hurry. The difference between us is that you actually have legit experience that to some extent allows you to take shortcuts and I have legit experience breaking things.)
In all seriousness, your honesty about your patterns and about the courage it takes to break/confront those patterns is stunning. You may never know how many people that honesty will help but I promise you that the ripples of what you've shared here will go far. Keep writing! xoxo